FUN FACTS ABOUT SPIKE ENERGY DRINK

So I came across a spike energy drink and made the mistake of reading the can.

Spike warning (Printed on the can)

“WARNING: Do no use if you are under the age of 16 or elderly. Do not take with any other stimulant or weight-loss supplement or any prescription or over the counter medicine. Do not use if pregnant or nursing or at risk of being treated for high blood pressure, heart disease, hyperthyroidism, spasms, psychiatric disease, suffer from migraines, have asthma or are taking asthma medication. Discontinue use if you experience dizziness, headache, nausea or heart palpations. If you have trouble sleeping, do not take within 6 hours of bedtime. Keep out of reach of children. Recommended use: begin use with one-half can daily to determine tolerance. Never exceed one can daily. Caution: this product contains strong stimulants and should not be combined with any other stimulant or fat-loss product

Then I did some research on caffeine:

1 12 oz can of coke =about 40 mg of caffeine
1 8oz can of Spike = over 300 mg of caffeine (7 ½ cans of coke)

Drink a whole 6 pack of coke and you’ll have less caffeine than if you drank 1 can of Spike
Drink a whole 6 pack of Spike and you’ll have a coma… and your saliva could potentially be used to power a bus.

Conclusion: Guys are stupid and will drink things containing warnings stating in no uncertain terms that they will probably have an elaborate series of convulsions within 10 minutes of tipping them back.

Why do we do this?

We do this because we believe that a brush with death will make us appear to be strong and capable hunters – a.k.a.: irresistible to flocks of leggy womenfolk (yes leggy, this is my story not yours.)

Why are we stupid?

Because we have no idea what you "girl" people actually want so we end up relying on our instincts (never a good idea) which means drinking poison because it’s the only allegedly impressive thing that we can think of. ...Please Whitey.