I'm Michael Baggaley and I have sentient eyebrows.

I have been told that I have the eyebrows of a Greek god. It's true, I've seen them, they're spectacular. However occasionally, and without warning, I become acutely aware of them. It's not as if I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or something and suddenly notice that there are eyebrows on my face. No they just make themselves known to my brain. It's as if they're bristling in anticipation of some hidden danger. Today, for example, they are crouched on my face like a couple of feral cats. It's not a pleasant sensation at all. Why?! What good is knowing that my eyebrows are hanging around on my face. They don't actually warn me of any danger (That would be pretty cool, kind of like a super power) No. There's no danger here.
I'm sitting at my desk sipping orangeade and thinking about tanks. (Guys think about tanks more than you know, ladies. Sometimes, when you're talking to us and we're just nodding at you as if we were listening... Yep. Tanks. ...Tanks and sometimes gear shifters.) Maybe my feral eyebrows get bored with merely looking like they were chiseled by a sculptor. Maybe they yearn for a little action. What kind of action? Maybe they just don't like to be ignored. Any way you look at it. I am going to have to check myself into a "home" if this keeps up today. Curse you eyebrows! Curse you!