Ouch!

So I hit my head again. I know, I know. Considering the abuse that I have put my noggin through over the years, this information by itself is not all that noteworthy. I have, after all, spent a lifetime abusing my poor tender head in various and unpleasant ways. (How many people do you know that have knocked themselves out cold just by leaping around in their basement?)

Well as it happens, this story is not about quantity, it’s about quality. You see, I tripped up the stairs and ran the top of my head into the front door of my apartment building... again. Yep, I said “again”. This is, in fact, the second time that I have performed this exact same ridiculous stunt since moving into my building. I should really set up a camera to capture these little stair climbing debacles because the odds of a repeat performance are pretty darn good at this point.

Both incidents involved me attempting to leap up the stairs like a gazelle and missing a step. As anyone who has fallen up a flight of stairs can tell you; your body sort of bends in half after you trip which completely throws your center of gravity for a loop. In order to try to compensate, you are forced to begin running. I had some decent momentum going when I tripped, so by the time I started running I was moving at a pretty good clip. Unfortunately it’s a rather short flight of stairs and there wasn’t enough room to catch myself before I encountered the landing. Also, being a super intelligent person, I had spent 100% of my concentration on getting my legs back under me leaving nothing left over for my arms which I imagine just whistled in the wind behind me like a pair of limp socks.

I connected with the door at the top of the stairs with the very top of my head and then crumpled into a pile of limbs on the landing. It must have made a horrific noise, but my neighbors were kind enough to allow me to untangle myself in private and limp along my way. I still don’t know how I got to the grocery store after that, but I bought a lot of weird food so I might not have been entirely in control of my senses.

I think I’ll wait before I attempt to impersonate a gazelle again. I might need some recovery time.