It has come to my attention that I have not been using an acceptably manly device to apply soap to my naked parts in the shower. Long ago, I was able to fool myself into believing that one of these...



was acceptable to shower with because even though they appear rather feminine, they're made of a mesh material. Mesh is definately manly. I could easily unravel my mesh ball and reconfigure it into a clever booby trap if I ever experienced a millennial disaster or zombie attack. (At least I believe that I could)

See? Manly.

Besides, they're scratchy and when combined with the musky man-scent of Axe body wash it's much easier to ignore that they look like they were sneezed out of a giant doily.

However... That was all before I found out what they are called.

Poofs?

What the?... I do not shower with poofs! How can it be that I was never informed of this?! Who's in charge here!?

Well anyway, not willing to concede to this "poof" nomenclature, I decided to call my poof "Dale" ...aaaaand then, without first thinking it through properly, I made the mistake of announcing this to my co-workers. (Consider the following: If my poof is named "Dale" then it adopts a gender. Thus a poof shaped mesh fellow named Dale would have spent some time a little too close to my important parts in the shower.) I quickly changed the name of my poof to Suzy, but alas, the damage was done.

Sigh. Life is just too complicated.